sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
