Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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