your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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