also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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