I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
