There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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