whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
