I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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