you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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