that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
