I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
