You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
