So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
