Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
