i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
