she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
