what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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