Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
