Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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