i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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