FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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