You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
