Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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