This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
