the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
