my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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