Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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