My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
