Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
