and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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