Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
