Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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