he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
