I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
