Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
