On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
