Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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