Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
