so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
