I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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