no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
