Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mom said you looked used
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
