Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize