I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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