So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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