Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
