you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How does one acquire holy water?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
