Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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