How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
