Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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