The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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