No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
