Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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