Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
