You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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