Cold hands, warm shart.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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