Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
