Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.

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(518): View more from New York

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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(954): View more from Florida

Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.

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(718): View more from New York

You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.

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