Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
