Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
