jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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