Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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