the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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