u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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