I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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