my vag is so smooth its legendary
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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