Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
