Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
